"When we sat down to eat I took inventory of the people in the room, and the remnants of my good mood evaporated when I realized how very little I had in common with them -the career dads, the responsible and diligent moms- and I was soon filled with dread and loneliness. I locked in on the smug feeling of superiority that married couples gave off and that permeated the air -the shared assumptions, the sweet and contended apathy, it all lingered everywhere- despite the absence in the room of anyone single at which to aim this. I concluded with aching finality that the could happen possibilities were gone, that doing wathever you wanted whenever you wanted was over. The future didn´t exist anymore. Every thing was in the past and would stay there. And I assumed -since I was the most recent addition to this group and had not yet let myself be fully initiated into its rituals and habits- that I was a loner, the outsider, the one whose solitude seemed endless."
Bret Easton Ellis
Bret Easton Ellis
3 comentarios:
Este texto de reciente lectura a la última novela de Bret Easton Ellis expresa una sensación que con frecuencia me invade, y que siento que Easton Ellis expresó de maravilla.
Duro contra los malos
"me duele tanto, pero llueve, la gente, las historias, los momentos van, buscando los momentos de la casualidad...pero llueve, me duele tanto que tu pelo se moje.... la gente mala y buena, todos van abajo gota a gota...pero llueve.
el cielo es un espejo a punto de caer...no importa tanto, pero llueve.
Camina esa mujer que alguna vez perdí...bajo la lluvia va....y viene...me duele, me duele tanto que tu pelo se te moje..."
Será realmente que: "the future didn´t exist anymore. Every thing was in the past and would stay there". No sé, aunque reconozco la sensación, la vivo, hoy aún más, pero no obstante, tengo mis dudas en relación con lo de que todo lo pasado es mejor y no hay para qué pensar en el futuro.
Quizás haya sólo que luchar contra esa "dulce y condenada apatía y tratar de ser un poquito más auténticos al ir en pos de los sueños, sin amilanarse mucho por el camino o amilanándose y sobándose. Quizás sólo sea eso, un sueño, ya no sé.
...
Ophir invadida
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